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i want to be inconvenienced by you. i want to wait for you, i want to hold your things while you do something else, i want to make adjustments to my plans to make space for you. someone at your side who takes up no space and has no needs of their own is not a person, but a shadow. i don’t want a shadow, i want you. i want my life to be altered by your presence in it. please, inconvenience me.
if toxic, why sound endearing?
do you seriously consider someone saying “my love for you is unconditional and based in the trust that we are permitted to need and want the other in small everyday ways; never feel ashamed to ask me for help or for being a part of my life”
as being toxic?
Having needs and expressing them is good actually, and it’s tragic that people are so willing to swallow themselves so as to not be a “burden” on each other. My girlfriend and I lend each other our metaphorical spoons all the time. That’s not toxic, that an honest relationship, where we ask for help when we want it- not just need it. When we want it.
May the people who think taking up space is toxic or co-dependent find healing. Because y’all… it ain’t good to think that way. You have needs. I hope you feel safe enough to stop hiding them one day
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