Yo I haven’t done it in forever so I forgot that working at a sex shop gives you superpowers
1. The We-Vibe Tango is a low frequency and fully waterproof rechargeable bullet vibrator that we used to sell for about $150. A new model came out about a year ago so it’s on sale now online for $47. Can confirm that shipping is discreet and they have a really good warranty, just keep the packaging.
*(I’m not sponsored to say that and nobody is paying me rn, it’s just a legit good deal.)
2. There are essentially three bases used for lube: Water, Oil, and Silicone. Oil breaks down any materials other than glass or metal, and Silicone breaks down Silicone toys and sometimes condoms. Water is safe for everything but tends to dry out, so people don’t like it- but if you add water or spit, drying water-based lube will slick right back up.
3. If your water-based lube has given you any itching, tightening, or burning sensations, you probably have a chemical sensitivity. Obviously everyone has different preferences, but my number one recommendation is Water Slide– it’s a super reasonable price compared to other lubes, it feels natural, it’s incredibly gentle on the skin, and it doesn’t stain sheets.
**(Again, I’m not being paid for this. By anyone. At all. I’m just sick of hearing people come in and tell me they don’t use lube cause it hurts, or that they’re using fucking coconut oil in their vagina. Please, God, don’t put coconut oil in your vagina.)
4. A lot of massage oils use almond oil to suspend other ingredients, and warming products sometimes use cinnamon. Always, always, always check people’s allergies.
5. You can buy toys off cheap sites if you want, just be wary of quality and ALWAYS read the product description. I personally wouldn’t buy anything that isn’t Silicone, stainless steel, or glass, because unlike jelly, plastic, “fantaflesh”, and Silicon, (which is NOT Silicone!!!) They are non-porous, sterile, and don’t melt in contact with each other. This means that as long as you clean them properly and don’t use the wrong lubes, they will not hold bacteria or break down, which makes them safe for both you to reuse and your partner/s to share. (And to switch between front door/back door, so long as you wash before going back to front.)
6. Cotton and polyester bondage rope are cheap and great to practice with. Silk sounds fancy and is very strong but be advised that a lot of silk rope is “Silk™”, not actual silk. Read the product description. (I personally am reluctant to spend more than about $2 per foot for mass-produced synthetic rope, but could be persuaded to pay more for ACTUAL silk, nylon, handmade ropes, or especially attractive colors/patterns/textures.) You want your rope to be at least as thick as your thumb and layered to avoid lacerations, and taut (not stretchy) to be sure you’re in control of how much pressure you’re putting on.
7. Choking someone by pressing on the windpipe is painful and inefficient. If you want to, stay very, very light, as it’s a very delicate area. If you want a head rush, press down on the sides of the windpipe, just below the corners of their lower jaw. You will feel a pulse there. That’s the carotid artery. It carries oxygen to the brain. Pressing there will allow them to breathe, but will still “choke” the air going to their head. It’s faster and painless. Only hold this for 3-4 seconds if you lack experience. It takes just under 15 seconds to make someone pass out from a blood choke, and after that you risk causing *permanent brain damage*. If your partner passes out, release pressure immediately and keep their airways clear. If you’re the one being choked, know that your only warning will be spotty vision and a dizzy sensation. Communicate with your partner/s and for the love of God, do your research first. I’m not a doctor. Please God, please do your research.
8. Don’t reduce blood flow to any part of the body for more than 20 minutes. This includes cock rings. Take a break for an hour between uses.
9. Most ‘dick pills’ are just a stimulant, a mild vasodilator, and a placebo. Usually mostly caffeine. They are not worth $20 apiece. Take a minute to meditate, have a hot shower, drink some black tea, have a coffee, go for a run, whatever- you’ll get the same effect. And no, there is not a single ethical and legal sex shop in the country that can sell you viagra. You would have better luck on Facebook. Do not buy viagra on Facebook.
10. There are no “male toys” and “female toys”. Your only limitations are safety and creativity. If youre sticking something into something else, just make sure everything is clean, not too big, not sharp or abrasive, and can be taken back out.
11. If something “goes missing” in your vagina and you panic, you muscles will tense up and it’ll it’ll harder to get back. Relax and stand up. Wait a minute. Chill. Calm down. Jump a couple times. There’s nowhere for it to go and worst case scenario, I promise the emergency walk-in has seen something weirder or worse in the past hour or so.
12. You cannot return toys that you buy and don’t like and I swear to God if you come into my store with an opened product and try to give it back I will lose my shit
13. Actually while I’m at it, people who work at sex shops are more often than not are not sex workers and even if they were, it would not be appropriate to flash or grope them or ask them “what they use”, I will run you over in the parking lot.
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