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All this. 100%!
Anyone is absolutely more than within their right to protect themselves and draw a boundary from interacting with with pedophiles, or lolicon enjoyers, or anyone else who makes them uncomfortable or upset.
I, personally, do not want to be anywhere near anyone who talks about wanting to commit child abuse, and I draw that boundary for myself.
It’s totally okay! it’s, dare I say it “normal” to want to avoid people who you feel unsafe around.
But– speaking with reference to the other anon that sparked this conversation– drawing a boundary doesn’t mean coming into my inbox and telling me how disgusting you find paraphiles who are minding their own business and not hurting anybody.
I say the same thing we say about being proship; if you see somebody who makes you feel uncomfortable, block them and move on!
Because pedophile is a scary word people use to scare people, much like “schizophrenic” or “narcissistic”.
People don’t want to admit that the people who hurt children are not magically compelled to do so by an evil curse.
They don’t want to admit that the people who commit child sexual assault are almost always family members.
Sexual assault is almost always about control, violence, power and opportunity.
Rape is only about “uncontrollable attraction” when you’re writing sexy CNC fiction.
In reality rape is not about attraction.
Blaming rape on attraction is the same as blaming it on “the clothes she was wearing.”
“I couldn’t control myself because of my attraction” is a lie made up by rapists to excuse rape.
So, like, this is the super nasty ask that we received that we mentioned the other day.
Let’s straighten some things out.
👉 The term “paraphile” means someone who has “persistent and recurrent sexual interests, urges, fantasies, or behaviors of marked intensity involving objects, activities, or even situations that are atypical in nature.”
👉 All pedophiles are paraphiles, but not all paraphiles are pedophiles.
👉 In fact there are lots of paraphiles who are not pedophiles.
👉 “Paraphilia” describes a thought or feeling, not an action. There are lots of paraphiles who do not (or even are physically unable to) engage in their paraphilia in real life.
👉 Like for serious, anon, being obsessed with sexually transforming into a racecar is a paraphilia.
👉 Not all pedophiles are child molesters.
👉 It is extremely harmful and factually ableist to equate people with a mental illness (paraphilic disorder) to people who commit crimes.
👉 Having a mental disorder, even a sexual mental disorder does not force you to commit crimes or hurt people.
Please, trust me when I, an actual CSA victim tell you this, it is harmful to victims and to the mentally ill when you assume all pedophiles are child predators, and all child predators are pedophiles.
I would never in my life defend a child molester, but I will defend the mentally ill, and people coping with intrusive thoughts to my dying breath, anon.
👉 Thoughts are not harmful until they become action.
👉 I will not stand for shaming and dehumanizing people for their thoughts, no matter what their thoughts are.
There are no thought crimes.
Blame abusers for abuse.
Blame rapists for rape.
Just because someone’s thoughts disturb you doesn’t mean that they are a person who is going to or desires to commit harm.