every time i see this whole argument about fiction affecting reality and how groomers use fiction to abuse people, im reminded how hard it still is for me to blame the people who hurt me for their actions. fiction didnt make these people treat me poorly- these people did. they excused it with fiction. thats not fictions fault. real actual people excuse their actions with or without fiction. i cant blame fiction for how someone treated me, if i did id just stay traumatized and never get over it because id refuse to hold people accountable for their actions. i get that i cant get closure from these people, but that doesnt mean me reading fictional abuse stories or having people share their fictional writing with me will suddenly make me turn into an abuser. i think the real problem here is people just straight up not wanting to blame their abusers/groomers/etc because they dont understand how to accept not getting closure from people who will never apologize. blaming someone you cant get an apology from can really hurt, but that leads into you blaming everyone including fiction for it all instead of who actually hurt them. its ok to hold someone you cant talk to anymore responsible for their actions. its ok to say ‘they are to blame for these actions, and they wont ever apologize, but that doesnt mean i have to stew in it and hold onto the hope they will.’ i dont need to hear their apology or nonapology. i just have to acknowledge that i will never let someone trick me into believing that their actions are okay because they read something online, or because they were hurt personally by someone who read something online. or for any reason whatsoever. (sorry this was long you dont have to post this)

by on February 11, 2023 at 1:24 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

I think this is really insightful, anon. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

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