casually-exhausted:
I find it extremely funny how the most basic of traits become alien when aspecs are involved
Like, most people can understand that there are some people who are inherently uncomfortable with sex. Who for some reason (or no reason) are just not comfortable with the subject and that doesn’t mean that they can’t have sex, or won’t or even that they will or any other thing except that they are uncomfortable with it. And most people can accept that until you mention the word asexual and then it’s a completely foreign idea and you need to get your hormones checked
People can also date without already being romantically interested in each other. That’s the whole basis of dating apps and arranged marriages. And most people understand that too. But mention aromantics and then you’re an abuser
Or having sex without a romantic or even sexual interest. Everyone is aware and mostly accepting of hook-up culture, sometimes you just want sex for the hell of it. But as soon as they find out about alloaros they clutch their pearls, the same with aces that have sex for fun. Because in their fervor or hating aspecs they forgot that sex feels good. Sometimes I legitimately wonder if aphobic allos even enjoy sex at all, considering how horrified they are when they hear about aspecs enjoying it
And that’s probably because most are too brainwashed by amatonormativity to realize that they too can set these boundaries. If you are uncomfortable by sex say it, discuss it with your partner. IF you don’t want to call your partnership romantic say it. If you want something with strictly no romantic feelings involved say it. If you have sex with someone you are not actually attracted to that doesn’t make you a bad person, you both (or more) had fun, that’s what’s important
These are not strictly aspec things, everyone can do it. Because, and I need alloallos to read this very carefully, because although they know it few actually internalize it, it’s better to die alone then to live your entire life in a relationship you hate just because you’re scared to be alone
