reblog this post if you’re strong enough to :3 in 2023
Y’all have got to get better at handling uncertainty. Sometimes two people will have a falling out and you legitimately won’t be able to tell which one was the abuser and which one was the victim. Sometimes you’ll encounter a stranger online who might be a channer troll trying to stir shit up or might be a deeply traumatized person trying their hardest to speak their truth. That person with the gendery vibes might be a trans egg or they might be a cis person who just does whatever the hell they want. You have got to learn to act appropriately when you can’t know everything.
Imagine your parental shipcest F/O completely babying you when you have a bad day.
Long, snuggly cuddle session? Done.
Any food or snacks that make you happy? They bring them to you.
Retail therapy? They take you out shopping for anything you want.
All the while they sneak you kisses, and tell you how much they love you.
disease-danger-darkness-silence:
guu:
what the fuck
iām just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like
i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a childās hair!
it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didnāt approve of that look on a āgirlā, and insisted iād regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.
but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesnāt need to get any haircuts he doesnāt want.
so he starts growing it out, itās still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me itās getting long as if i donāt have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for āforcing a transgender lifestyleā over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.
he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpaās and tells me he didnāt Want the haircut.
i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.
tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of whatās on THEIR body! /rant
Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies.
This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you canāt get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years.
but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and thatās where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.
Leave kids hair alone.
Iām going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their childrenās hair creep me the fuck out and Iām not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, āannoying talking dollā status.
I loved my daughterās long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut shortĀ ālike a boyā(she was four)Ā I took her to the salon and let her whack it off.Ā
The stylist was skeptical, āare you sure?ā and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girlĀ āare you sure you want it cut short?ā She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And itās been short ever since.)
Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred
there is a reason that so many of us whoāve experienced trauma will reclaim control over our bodies and our selves by cutting and dying our hair. itās part of us. itās part of our expression. thatās vitally important to people, especially kids, who are still early in the process of learning how they fit into the world around them.
For some reason, āstop enforcing your gender identity and sexual orientation on childrenā never applies to cis-het people who are the only ones actually enforcing it.
I can point to wanting long hair as an expression of my gender ever since I was young, but I was never allowed. āJežekā it was. Hedgehog, basically just a bit more than a buzz cut. It looked godawful on me, my head and face is not build for no hair length like that. So every time, I asked to keep it long. āJust the ends.ā Iād say, but no, down it went. Eventually mom let me do a ācompromiseā.
A mullet. I hated it. I had a ārait tailā later, as in everything except one specific strand short. It took me coming out as trans for mom to stop forcing me into short haircuts, but instead to demand I take good care of it.
Please let kids fuck around with hair, it grows back
An extremely important rule that some people Just Donāt Get is that you do not fuck around with other peopleās hair without permission.
This includes (but is not limited to):
– Touching it;
– Cutting it;
– Pretending to cut it (āHahaha itās a jokeā no fuck off);
– Forcing them to cut it;
– Making snide comments about it;
– Making jokes about it.
Itās not your fucking hair.
This, just by the way, also includes barbers and hairdressers who have opinions about how your hair should be.
If someone says āJust a trim but leave it longā you trim it but leave it long.
If someone says āI want a buzz-cutā you give them a buzz-cut.
Itās not rocket science. Itās not your fucking hair.

