There is something so beautiful about reaching out to the monstrous with intent to touch it gently. To risk the sharp teeth and the lethal claws, to defy fear and revulsion, and choose to be delicate with something that can be, and often is, incredibly brutal.
I would be SO GENTLE with those tigers before they mauled me completely to death.
jotting down some thoughts & corralling some resources – i hope you will also take some time to educate yourself as well + form your own beliefs! let this be a starting point, perhaps, as it is for me too.
so, if you are sitting at your screen thinking, “[insert thing] is bad in real life, so doesn’t that mean [insert thing] fictional ship is bad too?” then this post might be for you.
this comment is based on three assumptions:
[insert thing] is bad
supporting things in fiction means that you support them in reality
anyone has permission to police other people’s fiction
when we disagree on this comment, it seems like we might be disagreeing about #1, but actually, “ship and let ship” is about the latter two assumptions. that’s what I’ll continue on about.
Supporting Things in Fiction Does Not Mean I Support Them in Reality
other people have explored this in more detail that I will, so let me give you the TL;DR and a few links.
Fiction does not equal reality, but fiction is not removed from reality either. Creating and consuming fictional content does not mean we want to see this content play out in reality.
Yes, it is true that fiction can impact reality (think of stereotypes, or the “Jaws effect”). However, we can (and should) consume content critically and recognize what is unacceptable in reality.
Fiction is a useful space to explore themes that we do not consider acceptable in real life because it is fictional.
again, many people have said it before I have, so:
It is my job to moderate the content I consume. If I don’t like a certain ship or a certain topic, I will avoid that content. Disliking content does not equal shaming others for liking that content.
While I am free to dislike or disapprove of certain content (and I am free to publicly express that dislike), I am not free to shame those who do create, consume, or enjoy that content.
Here is the difference between two statements:
Dislike: “I don’t like X ship. It makes me uncomfortable. I want to avoid content about it.” These are acceptable statements. There are probably people who agree with you!
Shaming: “People who like X ship are wrong. Anyone who consumes X ship is morally corrupt. Liking X ship means you like [insert thing] in real life.” These are shaming.
“Fandom is an opt-in environment. We choose to be here. We choose what we consume. There are always going to be things in fandom, as in real life, that we find distasteful.
But here’s the thing. That trope you love so much in fanfic? That’s someone else’s squick. Your OTP? Their NOTP.
If every single fandom consumer gets to point to something and say “I don’t like that, it’s not allowed to exist!” the entirety of fandom would disappear in a puff of smoke.
This is why doing your best to follow the Three Laws is important. They are designed to protect EVERYONE’s favourite creators. Including yours.”
Glossary
DL;DR(link is a Guardian article) = don’t like, don’t read; i.e., it’s up to you to decide what you want to consume
SALS = ship and let ship, or it’s not up to you to police my ships or I yours
KINKTOMATO = your kink is not my kink & that’s okay
Fandom Policing= i.e., controlling/judging what others post or create
Purity Culture = the idea that fiction must be morally pure to be acceptable
Dead Dove Do Not Eat = i’ve tagged and warned for content to the extent possible, if you choose to read this anyway, that is on you
Anti- / Anti-Shipper= generally defined as someone who is against a certain ship; in this context, someone who shames others for their ships/kinks/content
Writing is hard. It stretches your creativity until you see holes in it, or worse, your plot. It can be lonely. It can be tiring. It can hurt your brain, and your pride, and your heart. It can feel like the worst thing you’ve ever done.
But it’s worth it.
You’re worth it.
So take care of yourself, okay? Take breaks, drink fluids, do whatever self-care you can do, no matter how small. Remember, there are people who care, and there are readers who need you – your story, your perspective, your impact.
And if you don’t hear this from anyone else today, I’m so proud of you.
