Anon, we are so glad to meet you, an so glad our posts resonated with you!

This part in your message stood out to me

we have some fictives sure but he feels like… a different type of fictive i have no idea how to explain it)

I think you should check out some posts over at our (very out of date) blog @soulbonder and see if some of the experiences talked about over there resonate with you.

Please feel free to put anything you like in our inbox if you want to talk more about your experiences.