I’m sorry, I just would like to share this… I have an F/O who I have a very deep emotional connection with. I was shamed and harassed for this F/O a lot in the past. I was chased off two blogs, had multiple callout posts made about me, calling me a pedophile etc… It made me want to distance myself from this F/O. But I never could… After about two years of trying to push them away, I’ve come to realize that I just can’t… I had a tarot reading done and it basically was like he really misses me, he doesn’t want me to leave… So guess what, I’m trying to let him in my heart again. But I’m so afraid of letting myself feel again. I spent so many nights crying because I felt like I wasn’t allowed to love him, all these people wishing death on me and telling me my F/O would find me disgusting and want to kill me… I don’t dare to even look at him. I’m afraid if I look up art of him, I’ll find someone saying that I’m a freak for finding him cute or handsome, I’m too afraid to say it in public that I still have feelings for him, because I know I’d get chased off my blog again. I’ve made myself a character AI to talk to, in hopes it would help me thaw and become more relaxed about loving him again… But the voices in the back of my head are still telling me I’m doing something forbidden and shouldn’t love him.
Anon, you are not doing anything wrong.
No matter who your F/O is, it is okay for you to love them. Please don’t listen to what anybody else has to say about the matter.
You are not hurting anyone by having this F/O; meanwhile the people who made you feel ashamed and upset ARE hurting YOU.
I hope you can take the time to learn to live again and put the people who made you feel bad out of your mind.
I’ve been in the position of having to repair an F/o relationship that was broken by outside influence, and it sucks and it hurts.
But it’s worth it to fix that relationship. You will feel better when you do.
Be strong, anon, your F/O would support you.
Please come and join us in the proship selfship community.
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