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“You wearing a collar in public is bad cuz I didn’t consent” you wearing a bracelet in public is bad cuz I didn’t consent to it.
Yall don’t really have a right to consent to other peoples clothes.
What’s next? Boys aren’t allowed to wear dresses cuz conservatives don’t “consent?” Trans people don’t get to wear gender affirming clothes cuz people don’t “consent?” Women don’t get to wear pants anymore cuz you don’t “consent?”
“Wearing a collar is sexual!” OK and? There are people that get off wearing certain clothes, are you going to restrict what men and women are allowed to wear by deciding those clothes are inherently sexual?
You ignore parents abusing their kids in grocery stores, you ignore the homeless people begging for money, you can ignore the gay people in collars and stuff.
“Isn’t it weird to wear a collar in public to show you belong to someone?” You wear a wedding ring, your husband doesn’t. A catholic priest wears a clerical collar, does God?
And even if it is weird, good! I’m weird! My gender is a weird little ball of goo! And I don’t care if you find me weird!
I’ve heard anti-trans campaigners make the case that, because trans women are “perverts” who are constantly aroused by wearing women’s clothing in their eyes, our very presence in public spaces is tantamount to a “nonconsensual” sexual act that ropes in anyone we encounter. I’ve heard similar claims that people who wear a BDSM collar or an item of fetishwear in public are “nonconsensually” involving other people in their kink or scene. I must point out that these assertions are but a small step away from me claiming that people who publicly wear wedding rings are “nonconsensually” involving me in their relationships. Or claiming that women who wear short skirts are “nonconsensually” exposing me to their “sexual” bodies. Oh, wait, people actually do say that last one, sometimes to compel the woman to cover herself up, other times to invoke the victim-blaming trope “she was asking for it.”
-Julia Serano in Sexed Up
She goes way more in depth into this idea, as well as the broader way that the stigmatization of sex can harm queer people(and everyone, really). It’s a book that I highly recommend to anyone with the bandwidth for some theory.
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