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Hey friend!
So here’s the thing:
Pornography is meant to be arousing, it is meant to gratify and titillate. It is sexual words or imagery for the specific purpose of being pleasurable.
You can write about sex– you can write detailed accounts of people having sex– for other reasons than to be arousing.
You can write about sex happening in a way that’s intended to shock or horrify.
You can write about sex happening in a way that’s meant to evoke feelings of nostalgia, pain, loss, etc.
You can write about sex happening for any reason.
If you’re writing about sex and it’s not for the purposes of arousal and gratification, then it’s not porn.
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