Once upon a time Boi took his true love Gurl to a warehouse. “I’m sorry my love but I must torture you now.” “Oh no,” said Gurl. “Is this because I ate your turkey sandwich?” “Yes,” Boi confirmed as he raised a large hammer ready to break Gurl’s toes. But because Boi told Gurl his reason for torturing her they both instantly died of a heart attack Death Note style. The end.
Good first draft, buddy, let’s workshop this, alright?
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