Just wanna vent without it being connected to me and you’re relevant and a beloved mutual. Latest dumbshit thing I’ve realized I need to unlearn is the dichotomy in reactions I have regarding gender/age to notes on my nsft posts. Not even posts of myself, just in general. It struck me due to that post about “men dni” on stuff, because I don’t do that but I’m guessing many people who do have this issue. Any time I see notes on that stuff from folks whose blogs identify them as men but not trans, and especially if they’re over 30, my instant emotional reaction is nothing like when it isn’t anyone else. It’s just automatic disgust and now I’m realizing like, it’s definitely an internalized “men’s sexuality is inherently predatory”, and yeah. I know it’s bad and now I’m trying to unlearn it, but I just wanted to vent in a way where nobody is going to misconstrue it as something I support doing. Already called myself out on it, but unlearning something you’ve internalized since childhood is hard.
We all internalize so much toxic ideology as we grow up, no matter what background we come from.
You are not bad for having internalized an instinctive disgust for men’s sexuality.
You are wonderful for recognizing it, and working to move past it.
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