I know you have a lot of asks right now, and you don’t have to answer this right away. But I don’t know who to ask here since you’re older than me and have more experience. Also, I’m not sure which one of you guys will answer this so if Toko reads this, I’m sorry. But for awhile now, I’ve been questioning if I can really call myself queer or if I’m one of the queers that wants to assimilate to amatonormativity. I want to have a baby of my own someday a future partner when I’m ready. But am I going with the status quo since I’m AFAB? Am I less queer for having a desire that goes against everyone else’s? This is actually been bothering me a lot because I just been noticing a major spite on people in the queer community who are strongly against having kids for themselves. It’s valid that they don’t want kids, but am I less valid for wanting one? Am I faking my sexuality? Am I faking my gender identity? Am I doing it wrong? Am I conforming to cishet standards? Am I going against queerness? This may sound stupid, but I’m being genuine that I’m close to crying while typing this.
Hey friend, I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. Please know we are sending you all our love and support.
Wanting to have a baby does not make you less queer. I promise.
Wanting to have a baby does not make you “assimilationist”.
Pregnancy and childbirth can be a beautiful, queer, transgressive experience.
Lesbians have babies sometimes.
Trans men have babies sometimes.
Nonbinary people have babies sometimes.
Asexual people have babies sometimes.
You are not less queer for wanting to have a baby, I promise.
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