I’m not trying to start a discussion, I know you want to avoid more discourse on it and I do too. I just wanted to ask, are you ok being mutuals with someone who disagrees that teens can *never* be abusive to their parents? I’m ok having this disagreement and still being mutuals but I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you’d rather not be mutuals I understand and I’ll let you know who I am so we can avoid each other.
Dave (🔍⚔️) here.
First of all, I don’t think we need to break mutual over this.
I want to be clear that Jasmine (🎀💖) who was the one posting yesterday does have the most extreme opinion about this, and probably would say that she disagrees that any teen can ever abuse their parents.
Most of us, myself included, would agree that there probably are some edge cases where an older teenager could abuse a parent.
I also think there’s a distinction to be made about abusive behavior vs abuse.
That said, I need to be really clear that Jasmine and the rest of us were extremely triggered, in the literal cptsd reaction sense, yesterday by the discussion about children abusing their parents.
We were pretty horrifically abused in ways that I don’t want to discuss, and a major part of the lasting trauma of it was that we were constantly being told that we were not being abused and that we were in fact abusing our parents.
We heard our whole lives– from the time we were helpless 6 year olds through when finally we escaped our parents house where we had essentially been held captive until we were in our 20s that– that we were the ones at fault and our behavior was abusive.
We have PTSD about this to the point where it has become pretty clear that we cannot even hear people talking about “children abusing their parents” without assuming that an abused child is being victim blamed and losing our minds about it.
So no, we don’t want to break mutual.
But if we see someone on our dashboard talking about “beating brats” (as was the whole reason this started) or we see a discussion about child abuse that frames children as likely abusers of their parents we are likely to have a bad reaction that we cannot control.
Thanks for listening, and I hope we can still be friends despite this whole thing.
Discussion ¬