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there are a handful of reasons why someone of any gender may fantasize about non-consensual sex:
- it allows them to acknowledge sexual desire without having to be the one acting on it – very common for people who struggle with shame around sexuality
- if part of what they want is a stigmatized thing (anal sex / being hurt / etc) then the fantasy allows them to picture it without also having to imagine themselves asking for it
- they’ve experienced sexual assault, and fantasizing about it lets them take some of the power back, or allows them to experience it without dissociation / trauma
- it plays into the fantasy of being so sexually desirable that someone will take sex from them, without getting consent
- it allows for strong feelings of anger, helplessness, and fear, through a) a lens of sexual desire and erotic expression, and b) a safe medium
there are probably more reasons that don’t fall under the umbrella of these guys, but these tend to be the common guys
What they are not is:
- a sign that they are fucked up
- inherently violent and non-consensual
- a sign that they want to be raped or assaulted in real life
- a sign that they want their partner to act that out, at all, or without thorough planning or negotiation
- always a response to trauma – many sexually traumatized people don’t have rape fantasies, and many people with rape fantasies have never experienced sexual trauma
Discussion ¬