“shipping an unhealthy ship isn’t inherently a bad thing because maybe you just want to see themes of abuse and toxicity explored in media.”
i agree. but i feel like there’s a difference between finding a toxic ship interesting and actively shipping it. shipping two characters means that you want them to end up together and you think that they’re a good match.
for example, i find simon and grace from infinity train to be an interesting ship. granted, they weren’t a canon ship but a one-sided romantic interest was hinted, at least. but even if they were canon, i wouldn’t ship them.
similarly, i also find rose quartz and pearl to be an interesting ship, despite their relationship being really unhealthy. but i don’t “ship them”. i don’t make posts talking about how cute they are or trying to prove that they belong with each other.
i like these ships because it’s complex and well-written, not because it’s desirable or good for either of the characters.
so yeah, if you say you ship two characters, you should be prepared to hear people talk about it being unhealthy. if you merely like a ship that is unhealthy because it’s an interesting thing to explore in fiction, you should phrase it that way.
a lot of c//a stans actively talk about their ship being the best or being really healthy and wholesome, but when someone disagrees with them, they immediately go “i like the ship because it’s toxic, i’m not into boring vanilla ships”. then just say that? instead of trying to prove that your ship is meant to be?
Nobody owes you constant explanations about exactly how and why they’re consuming media. Its exhausting and irrelevant.
Nobody has to consistently reiterate they acknowledge the flaws with a ship or relationship.
[ ship ] verb. to take an interest in or hope for a romantic or sexual relationship between (fictional characters or real people), whether or not the romance or attraction actually exists.
I have no input on fans defending their ships, particularly in regards to a fandom I know nothing about and am therefore unqualified to speak on, but I really do disagree with the approach that toxic ships can only be appreciated like little lab experiments.
Nobody owes you specific phrasing about how or why they like a ship either. You’re welcome to disagree with how they ship or perceive a ship, but telling people they need to constantly define their approach to a ship is just stripping fandom spaces of their enjoyable nature.
You have every right to oppose someone’s opinion, perspective or approach to a ship, but not to dictate that they must only approach a ship in a specific way or be overt about the way in which they are shipping.
Its supposed to be fun. Sometimes, shipping is just shipping.
I’m probably overstepping but I just thought I’d weigh in here. Making the claim that shipping is entirely about wanting to see two (or more) characters be together romantically is just, well, fundamentally incorrect. It’s such a generalised statement about something that is an entirely subjective form of self-expression. Not everyone wants to see a pairing become canon. Not everyone wants a pairing to be engaged romantically or sexually. Not everyone is exclusive to one pairing. The act of shipping is so varied across people in fandom that it’s simply a gross oversimplification to state that it’s all about seeing two people just getting together (semantics I know).
And it’s true that no one actually owes anybody an in-depth explanation for why they do or do not ship something/someone. Some people have really complex reasons for why they find a pairing attractive or compelling, and others just like it for no other reason than because they like it. And realistically, shipping just isn’t a serious enough activity to warrant someone having to psychoanalyse themselves for why they do it. It’s an exhausting and overall irrelevant use of your time.
I blame the fact that the culture around shipping in fandom has devolved into an unnecessary war of morality and virtue signalling for why people feel the need to constantly justify why they like certain pairings. Fear of being outcast because they don’t have a ‘valid’ reason for shipping something, of being labelled as bad or having a bad interpretation of the media being discussed. It’s all caused by this current culture of hypervigilance and morality policing in fandom spaces.
It is well within everyone’s rights in fandom to love, hate, dislike, or be neutral about ships and shipping culture in general. Respectful discussions about why some pairings are considered unhealthy are great, in fact, they should be encouraged, but those discussions should always be had while keeping in mind that no two people are going to completely agree on what makes a pairing unhealthy. And that is perfectly fine. You’re allowed to disagree with people. You’re allowed to not like someone’s opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to be enemies.
My stance on shipping is that it’s an entirely creative activity that is specific to the individual. No two shippers are alike, just as no two ships are alike. It all comes down to personal taste, and there’s nothing wrong with having a preference that is peculiar or even taboo when it’s explored in the realm of fiction. It is a violation of boundaries and people’s rights to privacy when you expect them to reveal all of their internal thoughts and feelings in order to justify a ship you personally find unpleasant or distasteful. It is also extremely entitled. Just as you wouldn’t expect someone who likes/dislikes a certain food to force themselves to change their preferences to suit yours, you shouldn’t expect people who are basically strangers to bend over backwards to accommodate your preferred content online. That’s an unrealistic and frankly egotistical expectation.
The internet is a public space. Seeing things you don’t agree with is just a natural consequence of being a part of it, and it’s up to the individual to be in control of their own experience when using it.
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