Do any of you fit the “standard” Protector stereotype? Have you ever fronted when it wasn’t “needed”?I’m out and there’s no malice. No threat. I’m just vibing. This feels wrong.The food is nice, though.
I’ll be honest, we’re not sure we have a strong idea of what the standard “protector stereotype” even is. Would you elaborate for us?
We have lots of system members who are aggressive or hostile in certain circumstances, and many of us are very protective of one another.
And I’m also not sure what you mean about fronting when “needed”. We mostly front when we feel like it, when one of us has something particular they want to do, when a system member’s favorite song comes on, etc. We all have different strengths, and for instance, if we need to make a phone call, we’ll ask often Hubert to do it for us because he’s very good at that sort of thing!
You mentioned food, and that’s another thing that will get different people fronting. We all have different favorite foods and things we like to cook (those of us who CAN cook– some of us arent allowed in the kitchen! 😅 )
Sorry if these answers are unhelpful. We don’t really fit into a heavily medicalized framework of plurality, and never really have.
Our system seems to be set up in what seems to be a very different way– though I’ll admit, if our system was similar to these kinds of experiences. we wouldn’t know. We stay out of the spaces that discuss things with this framework because generally the people in those spaces don’t want us there.
I am so glad you are vibing though! Sorry if this is an unhelpful or uncomfortable answer!
No, no, you’re fine. To be honest, I’m not entirely certain what I would count us, either. But as far as Bramble knows (and what Bramble knows is, generally, all anyone knows), a “Protector” is a headmate designed to protect the system – often from abuse or triggers, and often with a less-than-friendly personality to match. It’s mostly a thing in traumagenic discussions, I guess?
It feels odd, being out. Nothing particularly upsetting seems to have happened, there weren’t any “scary” people…but Bramble has been particularly “blurry” for a few days now.
Oh that’s really interesting, re: protectors. It’s funny because for us a lot of our hostile/aggressive system members are the ones who are more *vulnerable* to our triggers and abuse. The system members who step in to handle these things when someone gets upset are generally the more cold, reserved or outwardly polite ones!
We find that for us that ‘blurry’ half-around feeling is one of the strangest ones to experience. Often when we’re feeling particularly bad or frustrated for no particular reason, we’ll realize we’re feeling blurry and half-formed, and getting someone specific solidly to the front helps a lot!
I think it would help if Bramble could reliably get someone to the Front. But currently, we seem to have issues…telling each other apart.
We’re working on it. Xay seems to be doing an okay job, on it’s end.
Differentiation and communication can definitely be the hardest part. We find for us sometimes it’s helpful to externalize communication for a while (texting each other, writing to each other in different ways, speaking aloud if we’re alone or with our partners), but if that doesn’t help ya’ll I hope you find something that does!
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