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I’m going to be brutally, bluntly honest and vulnerable for a moment.
I don’t have any positive familial connections. I don’t have any mothers or fathers, or sisters or brothers or aunts or uncles or cousins who were supportive, or caring, or loving, open or gently teasing to me.
That’s why I don’t understand at all what people are feeling when they say “I can’t ship them, they’re like siblings!” or “he’s like a father to her” etc.
I can’t look at a relationship between two characters– who are not blood related– who are supportive, caring, loving, dependable, open or gently teasing and see a relationship that somehow feels romantically taboo.
I look at a relationship that is caring, loving, open, teasing, comfortable, etc and I see romance.
I genuinely don’t have a yardstick to evaluate what people are seeing when they see a relationship like that and it makes them uncomfortable to ship because it reminds them of their family. I don’t know what that feels like.
And that’s why I ship so many things that people call “sibling coded” or “found family” etc. Because I don’t look at them and see family.
I look at them and I see the people who saved me from my family.
I think this is a really interesting and important perspective to be aware of. We all have different experiences, perspectives, and reasons to enjoy things.
I can relate to not knowing what familiality feels like. I don’t love my family, or anyone, I am loveless, I can’t love. This is due to trauma and neurodivergence.
When I see a dynamic that is appealing to me I tend to see it as either labelless or sexual intimacy. It may have themes that others could consider to be romantic, platonic, or familial, but I can’t see that.
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