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I wish more people got this because some ‘low-empathy’ people are the most compassionate and sympathetic in the universe, and I hate it when that’s taken to mean ‘unfeeling and probably hostile’ when nothing could be further from the truth
Or, as my dad put it,
Sympathy: I know how you feel
Empathy: I feel how you feel
Compassion: is there anything I can do to help?Posting this because I see these words used interchangeably in RP writing a lot, and they are – in fact – not the same. Know the differences and impress your writer friends! It really is noticeable when someone has a strong grasp of vocabulary, and thus is a stronger writer.
Also, empathy is not always compassionate or sympathetic! It very often goes with those two, but empathy itself is not a requirement for feeling sympathy or compassion at all. Empathy works like a sponge, and can happen whether you care about the people around you or not. It works with negative emotions such as anger, and can make you question which of the emotions you currently feel are your own.
Having empathy – especially high levels – can also be an obstacle for counselors to work around and manage in order to counsel others effectively. It certainly has its gifts, but a large portion of my energy when I was a professional pastoral care provider was managing my empathy level and making sure it didn’t actually detract from my care.
I’m so glad I found this post.
I usually feel bad because I don’t “feel” bad when other people come to me with their problems. I do want to be there for them, I can feel sympathy if I can relate to the problem, I will definitely be happy to help and listen if I can, but I rarely “feel” their pain. It usually makes me think I’m not being a good friend or that I don’t care enough, even when I do deeply care for the person.
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