I feel like you might be projecting your experience as universal, a bit? Your situation with your family is valid ofc (in that the pain it caused you guys, and the damage it did to your brother as a result is real. Not that what happened was okay) , but that doesn’t mean no child has ever abused their parents?? Parents aren’t the only factor in a child’s psychology, and there are plenty of children who learn from other places how to mistreat their parents and then do it. Friends, romantic partners, other family members, etc. Plus, the majority of senior abuse is a child mistreating their older parent. And that is definitely not the old person’s fault! Abusive parents are shit, we live with our abusive mum. But if I started beating the shit out of her, that’s still abuse?? Just because you hurt someone else doesn’t mean if you suffer assault or abuse that it’s deserved or somehow no longer abusive.
Children who are legal minors cannot abuse their parents. Full stop.
A child who is a minor is legally and environmentally beholden to their parent without any recourse.
If a child who is a minor is violent toward their parent it is the result of mental illness, abuse, or neglect– and it is the parent’s literal job to rectify any of these problems.
A child who is a minor is completely vulnerable to their parents.
A child who is an independent adult can absolutely abuse their elderly parent, because the situation of vulnerability has been reversed.
This discussion has been about children who are minors, and who are legally and environmentally under the complete control of their parents.
This conversation has never been about the denial of elder abuse.
If a child who is a minor is violent toward their parent it is because the parent is doing something wrong, and it is the parent’s responsibility to fix it because that is literally their job and the child has no ability or agency to fix it themselves.
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