This was originally a reply to @straight-to-the-pain’s lovely post, but I felt like what I wanted to say should be its own thing.
As a disclaimer, I want to say that triggers surrounding lady whump are understandable and valid. You are not being demonized for being uncomfortable with a topic or having trauma surrounding it. However, that does not excuse the demonization and harassment of those who write it or choose not to tag it.
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The best example for whump being exposed to purity culture (as mentioned here) is the lady whump dilemma, and it’s upsetting that people are afraid to address it or just don’t see it happening.
I’ve seen people imply/outright state that because “women get abused more” means that lady whump is shady and “immoral” to write.
Not only does that completely invalidate men going through abuse but it’s also a complete and utter bullshit reason to discourage freedom of creativity.
This is the whump community. We write about abusive relationships, noncon, violence and torture. Just because it isn’t a male character does not mean any of this changes.
Saying that the gender of a character makes any of these acts “more severe” implies that if it happens to a male irl, it’s less of a big deal.
This is untrue, and harmful.
If a man suffers from any of the aforementioned acts, they should be taken just as seriously as a woman. Men can be abused, sexually assaulted, and harmed just as much as a woman can. This is not news.
It’s like we’re taking steps BACK in equality via censorship and it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Implying that a woman cannot go through the above experiences is also incredibly disrespectful to victims who have suffered from abuse. Implying that they cannot write about it is censorship.
People write to cope.
The fact people genuinely go after writers for not putting a warning about pronouns and for not promoting the “male only” whump stereotype is unacceptable.
You create your online experience. If you don’t enjoy a certain trope, don’t read it. I completely understand that tagging content helps potential readers avoid triggering content but when it comes down to the character’s pronouns, I believe that if it impacts someone that much simply being in the whump community itself is harmful. Characters have different genders. It is inevitable. That being said, there is nothing wrong with asking someone to tag content, just be prepared if they say no. Do not harass someone for not tagging something specific to you.
Just block them, or walk away.
It also grosses me out that people genuinely think that women only belong in a caretaker/supportive role instead of the main character. This enforces negative stereotypes of female characters.
This isn’t the 50’s anymore. Women have left the kitchen.
I’m sorry my character that goes through a rough experience just so happens to be female or uses she/her pronouns. Go touch grass.
Another thing that irks me is the promotion of people saying that they like male whump because they’re attracted to men, but when it’s the other way around somehow it’s disgusting.
It’s kind of homophobic to go after a saphic writer and preach that them writing lady whump isn’t ok while also accepting someone writing male whump because they’re attracted to men.
Double standards are harmful. Women can be attracted to women.
To quote an unnamed anon, “They clearly have a ‘normalize misogyny and everyone should get off to the pain of women’ agenda.”
As if that isn’t the case with male whumpees.
People here celebrate men being beaten up, bloodied and bruised. Yet somehow, when the tables are turned, everyone clutches their pearls as if a sin against nature has been committed– claiming that men deserve to be objectified.
Not only is that a horrifically toxic response but it also puts lady whump writers in an extremely difficult spot when defending their work.
Honestly, the entire concept of lady whump being a separate community is disturbing in and of itself. We are not bad people just because we have female characters. We are not misogynists. We are not fetishists.
We simply write a gender that isn’t male.
This community is definitely not as welcoming towards people with female characters, no matter what anyone here says about how “kind” and “friendly” this part of tumblr is. People are afraid to introduce their female characters due to the risk of harassment.
That’s not okay.
This is supposed to be a community for enjoying torturing characters, regardless of how they identify.
The quality of whump should not be determined by the character’s gender.
The fact that this is even a debate or source of drama is honestly sad.
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