Um, hi! I had a question about plurality. I’m not good at being concise so TL;DR our host feels half-dormant??? Advise???Our host is…it’s hard to explain. So, for an idea of how this works for us, when someone fronts they can usually imagine themself into the inner world, and feel around for other headmates. This isn’t perfect but it works. Importantly, anyone who’s close to the Front will be easier to feel for, and anyone who’s deeper in will need to be called on and broight forward. Usually, our host (because he’s ALWAYS close to the front) is pretty easy to find, rarely far from the “front-zone” at all unless he’s actively exploring around while fronted. It’s weird. Lately, though, he was feeling really out of it and struggling to stay grounded in reality (delusions and stuff on top of the dissociation). Now, two days later, we’ve had a new headmate pop in (a younger boy who may or may not be tied to our host), and our host is? Gone? Like we can find him but he looks…half-there, like a ghost. Like he’s between dimensions or something. Is this just one of the “less fun” parts of plurality nobody ever talks about (and will run it’s course) or should we like…do something?🧡🩶 (to find this later in case I miss it)
Hi friends! Thanks for reaching out, and I’m sorry you’re in a stressful position right now.
If what you’re looking for is assurance that this is not an uncommon plural experience, and that this has happened to other plurals, I am happy to reassure you.
Our system used to have two primary fronters who considered themselves the “hosts” and there was a long period of time when we were in our 20s where one of those fronters was simply gone and unreachable, and we had thought he had left the system entirely.
It turned out he was just dormant, and popped up again several years later after some other changes in the system.
It sounds like your system is experiencing some turmoil or even potentially an internal restructuring right now, given the dormancy of a host and a new headmate popping in. This can be extremely stressful and scary but it’s also often very normal.
My best advice on how to proceed is to welcome your new headmate and get him comfortable in the system. Find out if he knows anything about the state of the host.
As long as it isn’t stressful you can continue to try to make contact with the dormant host, but it’s also totally okay to just let them chill like that. It might just be that they’re burned out and need a break. It may be that they have or will pass hosting duties on to another system mate.
If there’s other specific advice you’re looking for, or just to talk more please don’t hesitate to reach out again with another ask.
Sending good vibes your way!
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