Oh gods, I never considered the fact that there might be a reason I don’t remember any trauma (I have definite gaps in my memories as a child, but never really connected the dots, wow-). /gen But the other points you make do make sense to me, I understand what you mean. I guess a better way to explain the experience is definitely “not feeling in control” sometimes; sometimes I’ll do something on what I can only describe is “total autopilot” ?? Like my brain does it automatically, but I don’t (1)

by on December 27, 2022 at 4:24 am
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really… process it, I guess? Or like I don’t see it happening, if that makes sense? I’m vaguely aware that it did, but just… wasn’t a part of it, I guess? Or, sometimes I find myself questioning if I actually did something but I don’t know if that’s an ADHD thing or… something else. I don’t really have the vocab to explain really how it works, but it’s def a feeling of “someone else did this,” if that makes sense? Sorry to bombard, don’t really have anywhere else to turn for this. (2)

To me that “autopilot” sensation sound a lot like how I might describe dissociation of some kind. Some terms you might want to look into are depersonalization and derealization.

It definitely sounds to me like you have something going on, but I can’t diagnose you either psychotically or spiritually.

If I were you I would definitely try to do some reading of other people’s experiences and see if you feel like any of it matches up with yours.

@sophieinwonderland is a pretty good table blog that deals with both endogenic and traumatic plurality; while not everyone agrees with them (and I don’t agree with everything they say either) they’re very good about providing sources and resources and I think that could be a good place for you to start.

Another, very old, plural community resource is astrea’s web– I find their glossary of terms very helpful even now.

Again, please don’t be shy about sending us asks, if you have any other thoughts or read something you’d like to ask us about.

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That mindset…Well, it’s definitely fitting for a kid? To think they should have a say in something like that is definitely a bit childish. I pray they please focus on being a kid and having fun instead of discoursing on the internet and trying to be involved in content they definitely shouldn’t at that age…That’s all though. Thank you very much (β Β β κˆβ α΄—β κˆβ ) Have a good rest of your Day/Night

by on December 27, 2022 at 4:14 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

Yeah I can’t exactly blame a literal child for having a lack of nuance in their opinions and ideas. I definitely hope they grow up and learn to broaden their horizons though.

Thank you and have a good rest of your time zone too!

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I know sometimes you repost anti posts cause they’re a bit silly, a little goofy. But I just passed one that actually weirded me out, like genuinely upsetting?? It was like??? Ugh I already blocked so I can’t fetch it for you but it was basically saying that proshippers are weird for NOT letting actual children complain about nsfw underage ships or lolisho. Like because it’s “About Them” the kids should have a say in it and since we’re not letting them, because they’re children and this is nsfw, WE’RE the weirdos. I blocked so quickly. How do I even articulate how bad that post is???(Also if this is an uncalled for ask I apologize preemptively!! Stay safe out here!!)

by on December 27, 2022 at 4:00 am
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Lol! Yep I just saw this one! (As your follow up message noticed.)

Honestly posts like that one are so baffling and sad. The idea that a child thinks they have a say in what unrelated adults write and draw is… I just don’t understand how someone could learn that mindset.

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that post is so pointless tbh. ‘oh im 16 and i think its pedophilia to be a proshipper’ okay and there are people younger than them who don’t. but we’re just ‘immature kids who don’t know whats good for them’ or whatever i guess

by on December 27, 2022 at 3:57 am
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I feel like what defines a lot of anti behavior is black and white thinking. They’re correct and everyone else who doesn’t share their opinion is wrong, and there’s no room for argument.

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Idk if you guys are open to receiving asks about this, but for a long while I’ve been wondering if I’m part of a system. I feel like I am. Like my body isn’t really wholly “mine,” if that makes sense ? But from what I can remember, I don’t have any trauma that might cause it ? And I know you guys are okay with endos, but I dunno… It’s a lot. I’m not really sure how to process all the coincidences and lowkey, I’m kinda scared about it. /gen

by on December 27, 2022 at 3:54 am
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Hey, pal.

Trauma isn’t the only thing that can cause a system to form. There are many other reasons, both psychological and otherwise.

But also, you should know that when a system does form from trauma, it is often forms for the express purpose of covering up that trauma and making it inaccessible to memory. So while you are probably correct that you don’t have trauma that caused a system it is theoretically possible that you do.

But here’s the thing, trauma isn’t what you should focus on here. Whether or not you have trauma is irrelevant to figuring out whether or not you’re part of a system.

And if you feel like you are, and if you feel like your body is not wholly your own, there is almost certainly something out of the ordinary going on, whether it’s psychological or spiritual, being part of a system, or something else.

Feeling like you’re not always in control of your body or your life can be a scary feeling. But finding out why that’s happening– and if you are part of a system, learning to communicate within that system– is the first step to making it a lot less scary.

We are happy to help you any way we can with questions, if you do have more for us.

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