the system experience of being blurry is always so wild because it’s like, it feels like knowing who you are should be very simple, but then suddenly it’s impossible to tell and it’s like “am I this guy? am I someone else but masking heavily? am I new here? am I multiple people co-fronting? what even is a person? can I ever truly know myself? do I even exist? what if I’m a figment of another alter’s imagination?” and then you listen to the right song or something and it’s like “oh of course”
Hey, anon. I’m glad you could get this off your chest
Whenever I read about things like this, it makes me feel like being friends with antis must be really stressful, like feeling like you’re being watched and having to make sure everything you say and do is completely acceptable all the time. I hope you can get to a place where you don’t have to feel that way any more.
My advice for self shipping with your f/o is this.
I think the best thing to do is create a separate blog, completely divorced from the blogs that your friends who are antis know about. Block their accounts from the separate blog when you set it up.
Post and reblog your f/o content on the new blog, where no one will be expecting anything in particular from you. Follow accounts that are interested in your fandom and are not vocal antis.
You can keep your main content on your original blog, and only sign in to the separate one for your f/o content. But you might find yourself ending up more and more on your new blog.
Whatever you do, anon, I hope you can enjoy your f/o and your fandom!
