Stealing kisses from ur F/O be like “get mwahed idiot!!”
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they should make a substance abuse that is good for you
I had therapy this week. I’m convinced I don’t pay my therapist enough because of all the weird online shit she has to learn about to help me unpack, but anyway. In therapy this week, we talked about the bastardization of therapy language in online circles and how people are using the language of therapy to bully people from behind a shield of being “healed” and “unproblematic,” and this, in turn, helped me realize why I’ve been struggling to write sex scenes in my work of late.
Like not just an “oh god, this is embarrassing and intimate” way, but more of an “every time I try to write something sexy, I’m freezing up and having a panic attack” sort of way which is… new for me.
Writing sex used to be my 9-5 job, and I’m actually pretty good at it. (I think. I hope.)
But there’s been a creeping thought in my brain of late that makes me freeze up and close the word document, and that’s “I’m being too horny with this; I should tone it down lest people think less of this character,” and last night I had to literally sit myself down and ask myself, bestie, what?!
It’s a sex scene. It’s supposed to be horny.
Also, characters are not meant to be perfect, healed little beans. They’re allowed to be messy and do questionable things because that’s what real people are like, and that’s a good part of storytelling.
Except lately, every time I try to do something with a character that might be considered imperfect behavior, my brain shuts down and won’t let me proceed, and I’ve realized it’s because I’m pre-emptively shielding myself from the online discourse of the kink not being “wholesome” enough and, like… fuck that. Honestly.
Can kink be wholesome? Absolutely. Does it need to be? No.
Do characters all need to talk and act like they’ve gone to therapy lest they be considered the villain? Also no.
I’m tired.
It’s absolutely the difference, anon.
If proshippers were harassing antis on the scale that antis harass proshippers, they would never shut up about it.
There would be daily callout posts.
Bad actors exist in every group. There are proshippers who have harassed antis.
But they’re in the minority.
Whereas antishipping is almost entirely based around cyberbullying people they don’t like, and its obvious.
Just check out #anti receipts
“they say proshippers break DNI”
I am not going to read the bio of everyone I like or reblog posts from. People who don’t want me to interact with them are welcome to block me, just like I block people who annoy me.
Can someone please explain to me – are anti-shippers literally people against shipping fictional characters getting together? Is that the whole thing?
Antishippers are against anyone shipping together fictional characters in what they consider would be immoral relationships in real life.
Ok, cool, so like incest, inappropriate age gap, that kind of thing? And pro-shippers, basically anything goes? /gen
Those are the main things that antis are against, but there’s no consensus. Antis often fight about
- how much of any age gap is okay (I’ve seen people call a 1 year age gap problematic)
- Are childhood friends basically siblings and does that mean shipping them is incest
- Is it okay to ship ‘toxic’ or ‘abusive’ ships and is it okay to ship enemies to lovers
- Etc
Proshippers, yes, believe that it’s okay for anyone to ship anything they want in fiction, even if it’s problematic or taboo.
Individual proshippers have their own preferences and will block or filter types of ships that they don’t want to see or interact with.