Posts Tagged plurality advice

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plural anon from earlier again, i’ve read your response over and over again and i’m tearing up, thank you so much for responding and being so understanding and kind. i think i’m going to try the process again of contacting my alters, if i do indeed have them, and having a second opinion has made me less scared, i guess, to try contacting them, so thank you <3

by on January 6, 2023 at 8:53 pm
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I’m so glad, anon. We have you in our thoughts, and our ask box is always open.

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I wanted to ask, since you guys are the only system/fictionkin blog I know about.Warning here, this one’s…really long. I’m up way past my bedtime and I’m feeling weird.Would you say that feeling like you’ve “popped” into existence is a system/fictionkin thing? Or feeling there are just…supposed to be people there. You know somewhere deep down your mind is not supposed to be this quiet, but no matter what you never feel more than a vague “My name is no longer my name, this body isn’t mine, these morals are not my own”.It’s all so exhausting and confusing and lately I’ve been having the same kinds of feelings I used to when I was a kid, back before someone shamed me for using “imaginary friends” to cope with my emotions and the way I tried to process them.I had…characters, I guess? These people I would imagine. They always felt kinda…real? Kinda like if I got into my mind somehow, they’d…be there. But one was different. One was…dangerous. and she didn’t even exist until before that person shamed me.I named her Queen. She was a young woman, maybe even a teen, but she was…mean. She was nasty. I don’t even call her a character or a bad reaction because it was like pressing a panic button and watching somebody else do…things. I won’t…get into it here, but she was mean to my friends. To the people I cared about. She’d pick a fight with whoever was triggering my panic attacks, and play by really weird rules, using anything she could to bully them. I didn’t lose consciousness, but I didn’t feel…in control?As I got older, I learned to cope with those episodes (mostly) and turned my responses inwards (“How could you do this to me” became “What did I do to deserve this?”, etc), which left me depressed instead of scared and angry. Maybe that’s why, her “emotional trigger” stopped existing. It still feels like she’s trying to inch up on me when I do get upset, though…I’m kind of scared.I’m sorry this got so long. It’s like…2:30 in the morning and I’m alone in the dark and I feel so weirdly…not alone, but silent. Like there’s something wrong. I’m not supposed to be alone, if that makes sense? It feels like I’ve lost something.
– 🍉💌

by on January 3, 2023 at 5:57 pm
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Hi anon! Thank you for sharing all this with us, it sounds like you have a lot on your mind and are going through a tough time. It also sounds like you should definitely look further into plurality– I wouldn’t[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…

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